Shadow Person Speaks

Marla in Shadow

11/5/10

You don’t see me

I live behind the curtain

Sometimes you might catch a glimpse

If you look real close

You might see me peeking out

Or moving around.

THEY come and

fetch me

when

they want me

they

visit me here

behind the curtain

but they

never let me out

never let me go

into

fresh air

where I can breathe and open my mouth

no, they hold me back

be

hind —-

—– a plaything

a toy

an animal

locked up

in a cage

where they can ooh and aah

isn’t she such a delight? So special she is—we love her so much,

we can’t live without her

what would we do without our little special special

yes, they cum

they come to visit me

all the time

but visit them I cannot

they can call me

but

call them I cannot

I cannot ask for anything

Because I am a shadow person

A plaything, a toy,

Neither dead, nor alive

And I had the option

I did

I did

I could have said NO, No shadow this time

But instead

I said YES, YES

because foolishly I hoped

I hoped it would be different this time

This time I wouldn’t  have to live behind the curtain for too long

Not like last time

That was completely different

This time for sure I would be granted freedom

Fairly quickly

Because this time I was truly loved

And I knew I was special special enough

To be loved out in the light

Out in the world

And the funny thing is, I had just recently

escaped the shadows

and believe me

It took superhuman strength

So much strength that it almost killed me

But I did it,

I got of the shadows

and then I just layed there out in the sun, not moving,

not smiling, because I didn’t know how to be in the light

but miracle came around and offered me some superhuman strength to

Live out in the light again

I wasn’t used to it

It hurt

Too bright

Too beautiful

But I did it

I learned how to be in the sunshine once again

and

I was basking

I was glowing

A few years later

I was offered something

It was very tempting

And it preyed on my weakness

My need

And I prayed on it

But I must have been confused because

I agreed to go back

Once again

In to the shadows

But not for long, I said,

Not for long,

Just for a little while

Ok?

Ok?

Ok.

And now I’ve been here almost a year

My back hurts

My eyes are blurry

I can’t sleep

and when they feed me I once again

feel such gratitude to my captors

where would I be without them???????

starving, dead,

look, they feed me, look, I am loved

see what they do for me, how can I ever repay them???????

But then they leave

To live their lives

Out in the light

While I wait

Here

again

amidst the shadows

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